Aloha! Willkommen. Wherever you are, whatever you’ve decided to do with Your Best Possible You this weekend, welcome.
This Is As Good As It Gets.
You hear that expression a lot, but can you name the events in your life that were as good as it gets? The birth of a child? (that’s one of mine.) The day you got married? (another one of mine.) The day you went snorkeling off Little Lameshur and saw a spotted eagle ray ten feet away that was in no hurry to swim off? (yes, another one of mine.)
If you can name even one single time in your life that was as good as it gets, you know that you are a happy person (or can be). If not, I’ll trust you to find a way to imagine that kind of day, because for what we’re about to do to really work, to “take” as they say, you need to be able to feel the experience of a life moment that is as good as it gets.
Maybe this will help. Remember, you are about to spend two entire days with Your Best Possible You, not The Slightly Improved Version Of You, or The You Who Will Be Happy For A Few Days Then Forget How. This is Your Best Possible You, and believe me, even if you’re not entirely convinced yet, Your Best Possible You knows how to be happy.
So get comfortable, slip off your shoes. Turn down the lights, or turn them up. Make yourself a drink or enjoy a glass of water. And don’t forget – make sure Your Best Possible You is comfortable too.
Closely. Your Best Possible You has your face, but probably doesn’t look exactly like you. This doesn’t make him a better person than you, or worse. It just means the two of you are different people. Let me give you an example of how this works.
I like to wear jeans, but whenever I bump into My Best Possible You he’s wearing nicely pressed khakis. We wear the same kinds of shirts, but that’s only because I’ve started wearing nicer shirts since we met (I’ve known My Best Possible You for three years now). I would describe My Best Possible You as well dressed, but casual, with just a bit of flare, usually in his shirts.
If noticing how Your Best Possible You looks sounds trivial, it isn’t. Your Best Possible You wears clothes that make him feel good about himself, clothes that not only feel good on his body, but honestly reflect the kind of person he is. In other words, Your Best Possible You wears clothes that are consistent with the kind of person he wants to be. You can say the same thing about the jewelry he wears or the way he combs his hair.
So take a moment to notice how Your Best Possible You looks. Go ahead, have a little fun. While you’re at it, imagine the clothes he or she wears in the winter too, or if it’s winter where you’re hanging out try imagining summer clothes. Does Your Best Possible You wear shorts? Makeup? Does Your Best Possible You ever wear white tennis shoes? Loafers? Heels? Combed hair or mussed hair? Tailored shirts or off the rack? Business suits? What kind of tie? When you have a clear picture in your mind – or pictures – you will know the kind of physical appearance that makes Your Best Possible You feel the best about himself or herself.
Now write your answer down so you don’t forget it.
Then take a look at something else. Quickly, without really thinking about it, imagine yourself following Your Best Possible You into his home. Smile when he welcomes you inside, then take a look around. Look everywhere. Enjoy yourself. What do you see? How big is the area you are standing in? Anything unusual about where you are? Tall ceiling? No ceiling? Any fountains? Is there artwork on the walls? Can you see outside? Is there furniture nearby? What does the furniture look like? What does the kitchen look like? While you’re looking around, be polite. Remember, this isn’t your home, it’s where Your Best Possible You lives. He or she may have different tastes than you, and he or she might spend more (or less) than you on decorating.
My Best Possible You lives in a house filled with glass and lots of running water, not just fountains, but small rivers. He has very comfortable sofas, but no chairs, and the rooms are very spacious. He likes iron art, like I do, but his tastes are much more modern – white floors and white walls instead of carpet. When I stand in his house I feel energized and happy, and completely at peace with the kind of person I am. I also feel successful.
How do you feel standing inside the home where Your Best Possible You lives?
Write your answer down so you don’t forget it.
Whether or not you ever live in this house is unimportant. What matters is that you can see the kind of choices Your Best Possible You has made when it comes to creating the physical space he calls his home.
You can learn a lot about Your Best Possible You by continuing with this kind of visual imagery. After all, most of us are visual creatures, far and beyond any of our other senses. We turn our thoughts and desires into pictures. What do the places Your Best Possible You spends time in look like? Does she hang out at casual coffee shops or at high end wine bars? Does he sit outside in his spare time or hang out in the garage? What does his office look like? Does he even have an office?
You should be able to easily envision Your Best Possible You by now, which is good, because I need you to sit down directly across from him. Yes, at this nice wooden table right behind you. Top off your drinks. Order something to eat.
Then look him right in the eyes and shake his hand.
The two of you should be smiling, because the two of you make each other happy, the way twins almost always enjoy each other’s company. Take in the moment. You like her. She likes you. What a beautiful world.
Let your curiosity get the best of you. Be nosy. I can think of lots of questions I’d want to ask right up front…
How did you get so physically fit?
When did you start wearing [pick the item of your choosing]?
Do you still [smoke, drink, swear, swim, hang glide, paint, take pictures, travel]?
Are you married?
What do you do for a living? How much money do you make?
And finally, after you’ve talked and talked and talked, and after you’ve finished your meal and your drinks and have started to make small talk, you’ll suddenly remember to ask the only question that really matters:
How did you get to be so happy?
Your Best Possible You won’t answer right away. After all, you’ve just gotten to know each other. He doesn’t know how much of his story you really want to hear. He doesn’t want to say things that make you nervous. He doesn’t want to sound like a braggart. But after you sit a few moments in silence he can see that you’re serious, and he leans in to answer you.
First I figured out what kind of person I wanted to be, then I made a plan for getting there, then I found a tool I could use to help me get there. Then I took my first step, then I took my next step, then I took my next step…
Your Best Possible You lets his words trail off for effect. You smile, but he can see by the slight strain in your smile that you want more than clever story telling. And because Your Best Possible You isn’t the kind of person who gives up easily he looks right into your eyes and speaks again.
Let’s start by finding out what kind of person you really want to be.